Posted in Stories and Poems

Not my battle…

Running, shivering, panting, I chased you. You were my last battle. I came to you, crawling, did everything I could to have you. Only now do I realize that I destroyed myself in fighting for you.

For ’twas not my battle to fight. Loss or victory? I got neither. You were someone else’s, already fought for, already won. And all I was doing was trying to hold on
to a broken string. I was a house made of glass, I broke when I was invincible, broke after having hurt everything in my path. You didn’t break me by throwing stones, you broke me after adorning me with flowers.

Now I’m shattered, my heart doesn’t thud. Every day is longer than the last. Every second alone is a reminder of what I could never have. I’m trying to swim my way out of this black hole, trying to find solace in the fact that you’re with someone you want. But it still hurts. If only I could rewind all this, go back in time and change it…

Except I know I wouldn’t be able to do it, even if I could. Wouldn’t be able to stop myself from loving you, even if I knew it would hurt.

~Nehal


Posted in Stories and Poems

Look at me, I’ve changed

From the girl who used to laugh at her own lame joke,
To the girl who now gives only a vacant smile when told one,
I’ve changed.

From the girl whose presence seemed to light up the mood,
To the girl who now wants to hide to avoid being ignored,
I’ve changed.

From the girl who was sure nothing mattered more than her family,
To the girl whose reckless words now cause them pain every day,
I’ve changed.

From the girl who couldn’t understand how somebody could be “depressed”,
To the girl who now feels like she’s engulfed in a bubble of darkness,
I’ve changed.

From the girl who couldn’t ever hide her worries from her mother,
To the girl who has now learnt to cry herself to sleep,
I’ve changed.

Oh, how I’ve changed.

~Nehal


Bwahaha. Totally lost all ability to write something happy. This is just fiction, as always. I’m just living a life right now and having fun here and there lol 😛. Lemme know how you liked it!

Posted in Stories and Poems

See you again…

It’s been a long day,
And it never seems to end,
When will you be back?

Don’t you feel the same?
Don’t you want to come back too?
Don’t you want me too?

I want not more than
A glimpse, perhaps a whisper,
Of my name, from you.

But something tells me
That you’ve moved on, left me here,
Alone and broken.

All I’m doing now
Is trying to be okay,
But my heart’s a mess.

I miss you, and yet,
I’m glad you’re happier now.
Glad for your success.

I’ll be okay too,
Not now, but some other day.
And I’ll still love you.

I wish you good luck,
I hope we cross paths again,
Hope it’s not the end…

~Nehal


This was my first ever attempt at a haiku, and I wrote an entire poem using them 😂. I hope I didn’t do any mistakes though, lol. I’m so glad to finally have written a haiku(s). Hope you liked the poem. I personally found it awful but I don’t have anything else to post anyways so well. All criticism and feedback are more than welcome!

Posted in Stories and Poems

When You’re Scared, What Do You Feel?

When you’re scared, what do you feel?

Do you feel your teeth chatter involuntarily?
Or do you feel sweat stroking your forehead?

Do you feel alert and quick to react?
Or do you feel slow due to the heavy weight in your stomach?

Do you feel like you need the presence of someone?
Or do you feel like making solitude a companion?

Do you feel like you need to indulge in something that you love?
Or do you feel like nothing you do can make you feel better?

Do you feel like you momentarily stop breathing?
Or do you feel yourself registering your short, sharp breaths?

Do you feel yourself inclined to scream in terror?
Or do you feel too terrified to issue any sound?

Do you feel yourself tremble ceaselessly?
Or do you feel petrified, frozen, like you can’t even move a muscle?

When you’re scared, what do you feel?

~Nehal


This poem was my way of depicting how a person can feel two completely different emotions, at the same time, when they are scared. Though there are other ways to interpret it too. I hope you liked it. Let me know what you thought of it in the comments 😄.

Posted in Stories and Poems

Broken

I feel a little empty inside,
A little dejected.
I feel like a cloud has swallowed me,
A cloud that is grey,
And dark.
And I don’t know what to do to about it.

I feel a little empty inside,
A little dejected.
I involve myself in my favorite things,
But don’t take part in them.
I want to,
But I can’t.
And I don’t know what to do about it.

I feel a little empty inside,
A little dejected.
I feel like the world is moving on,
And I’m just drifting along with it,
Alone and lost,
Not knowing or caring where I’m going.
And I don’t know what to do about it.

I feel a little empty inside,
A little dejected.
As if I’ve lost the meaning,
Of everything that once meant the world to me.
I feel passive, inactive.
And so tired.
And I don’t know what to do about it.

I feel a little empty inside,
A little dejected.
And I don’t know what to do about it,
And I am not sure if I want to,
Not sure if I can.

I feel like I’m broken.

~Nehal


Don’t worry, ’tis fiction. Hope you liked reading it, a bit intense though it was.

Ps– A very very happy badday to Kripaa @ Dream Diaries! Hope you have the awesomest day, lah!! 😃🎉 And send me a slice of the cake too 🤩.

Posted in Stories and Poems

A Monotonous Exam

I tap the back of the pen against my forehead,
And glance over to the clock.
The boredom and tension of the room is palpable,
Every student is looking around,
Hoping for something even mildly interesting to happen.
I lean back on my chair,
My feet start tapping on the ground,
I hastily scribble a line of Simon Commission,
Marvelling that highlighting points did help after all.
I lean further back and the chair’s front legs get lifted from the floor,
I think hard and another line comes to my head,
But just as I’m about to write,
I realize that I’ve pushed the chair too far,
And the next thing I know the air is knocked out of me,
And BAM!
I hit the floor,
The thud of the fall snapped kids to attention.
A round of muffled laughter erupts from the classroom,
Everyone glad for the distraction,
I get up, slightly flushed, and sit back down,
Surprisingly finding myself fighting a smile.
The teacher bangs her duster on the table,
Demanding “pin-drop silence”.
In just a moment, the glee is gone,
And a hush falls over the class,
As everybody starts wracking their brain for non-elusive answers,
Slipping once again into the surrealism of the exam.

~Nehal


Credits for the prompt go to Tiction @ Fictionally Crazy! Thanks, lah 😃. So, I wrote this without giving too much thought, and it turned out fine. It would have been much better as a short story, I guess, but I am too lazy to change it now. I’m just mostly glad that there’s still a part of me that can write poems and stories that aren’t all sad 😂. I hope you liked it!!


Posted in Stories and Poems

Just hold on…

I know it hurts right now,
I know that you feel like you’re in a desert,
Full of winds,
That blow without any direction,
Lost.
I know yesterday was hard,
And today is harder.
And I’m not even saying that
Everything will be a-okay, tomorrow.

Because life is hard,
And I know that I’ll never know what you’re going through,
Even though I’m here for you always, I know you feel alone.
And I am not saying it is worth living,
All I’m saying is that whatever it is you’re going through,
It’s not worth giving up.

Don’t you remember the time when you shed that tear
For Brendan and Cameron’s first kiss?
Remember the time your day got better,
When your favorite band released their latest song?
Remember the time you had late night talks with her,
And she made you laugh like nobody did?
Remember the time you first got nominated for a blogger award,
And you nominated like a gazillion people to share the joy?
Remember the time when you got a hundred followers?
When you created your own weekly tag?
When I told you your poems inspire me?
When you held a certificate in your hand when your poem got published?
Remember all that?

Remember the times you cherished the smell of a new book,
The feel of it in your hands,
The inward sigh you released when you turned the last page?
Don’t you want to feel it again?
These are precious moments,
Cherish them the same way you despise the bad ones,
And just hold on.
I know it’s hard, and I know you hate me for making you do this,
But just hold on a little while longer,
Just hold on, okay?

So wait a little longer, friend,
To see life become colorful again.
To see plants outside your window,
Bloom again.
Wait a little longer,
And you’ll be better. Soon.
And if not, I’m always here,
To make your life a little more intolerable,
With my weird emojis, and sad poems.
I know I’m miles away,
But I’m also just one call away.

So hold on a little longer,
For me, for you.
I’m here,
I’ll try to make it easier,
I know it doesn’t feel okay right now,
But it’ll be okay.
Soon.
Till then, hold on.


Dedicated to a friend. And to anyone who is having a bad day.

Posted in Stories and Poems

Shh, don’t say it…

Don’t tell me how much you love me,
Don’t tell me how much you care
Don’t tell me about the tears you shed,
Or how lonely you felt when I wasn’t there.

Don’t tell me any of this
For I know that I can hurt you,
Know that there is a chance one of us might walk away,
And know deep down it will be who.

Don’t tell me any of this,
For I will try every second to live up to your love,
I will try every second to believe,
In something I know you don’t deserve.

Don’t tell me any of this,
For I’ll overthink every moment of us,
And even though I know I love you too,
I will worry that I might never be enough.

Don’t tell me any of this,
For I am scared that I will shatter you,
I am scared of commitment,
And I am scared of what this fear of mine might lead to.

Don’t tell me any of this at all,
Not now, and not ever,
For I am just trying to live in the moment,
When you are having dreams of forever.

So don’t tell me how much you love me,
And don’t ever tell me how much you care,
For I am too much of a coward,
And I’ll just end up walking away.

~Nehal


Posted in Stories and Poems

Light me up

I was the butterfly that you trapped,
I was the hope that you shattered,
I was the light that could not be quenched,
I was the dream that always mattered.

But you broke me down,
And ripped out my heart.
Now with this burning rage,
I’ll tear you apart.

With hate as my servant,
Pain will thrive.
With misery as my weapon,
My wrath will come alive.

I’m the nightmare you never had,
I’m the darkness you never faced,
I’m the despair you never felt,
And I’m the agony that cannot be chased.

I’ll be the poison in your throat,
The water in your eyes,
I’ll be the blood in your wounds,
I’ll be your fear to survive.

So strike a match,
Light me on fire.
Watch me burn,
For it’s you that I come to devour.

~Nehal


Posted in Stories and Poems

The Cold Wait

He knows we can’t take it anymore,
And yet, he’s still torturing us.
When he speaks again, his words cut deep into my flesh,
Sending a jolt through my heart,
As my head is snapped to attention.
A cold smile lingers on his face,
As he contemplates his next victim,
His eyes roam hungrily over us all,
Trying to locate the weakest.
I shift in my seat,
Dread seeping through every pore of my body,
I can feel the waves of collective terror,
Radiating from each of us,
As we inwardly pray,
To be spared from his wrath.
And just when it gets hard to breathe,
He says my name,
A smug look flashing across his face,
At the terror in my eyes.
I swallow hard, knowing the worst has come,
Wishing so badly for it to be a dream.
I rise slowly,
Trembling from head to foot,
As my teacher asks me to answer his next question.

~Nehal