Posted in Stories and Poems

Not my battle…

Running, shivering, panting, I chased you. You were my last battle. I came to you, crawling, did everything I could to have you. Only now do I realize that I destroyed myself in fighting for you.

For ’twas not my battle to fight. Loss or victory? I got neither. You were someone else’s, already fought for, already won. And all I was doing was trying to hold on
to a broken string. I was a house made of glass, I broke when I was invincible, broke after having hurt everything in my path. You didn’t break me by throwing stones, you broke me after adorning me with flowers.

Now I’m shattered, my heart doesn’t thud. Every day is longer than the last. Every second alone is a reminder of what I could never have. I’m trying to swim my way out of this black hole, trying to find solace in the fact that you’re with someone you want. But it still hurts. If only I could rewind all this, go back in time and change it…

Except I know I wouldn’t be able to do it, even if I could. Wouldn’t be able to stop myself from loving you, even if I knew it would hurt.

~Nehal


Posted in Stories and Poems

It hurts…

You know why it hurts so much?

Because it was you who easily made me laugh when it was too hard even to smile. It was you who squeezed my hand to tell me that you were there with me when I needed you. It was you who pulled me close when I tried to push you away. It was you who smiled lovingly at me when I was too ashamed to even look at myself. It was you who was there with me through my darkest nights and my brightest days. It was you who made me realize that there may be a chance that I can be free of my burdens, by sharing them with you, that I can open up to you, that I don’t need to hide the real me anymore.

But when I did, it slowly took you away from me, like the petals of a flower in a slight breeze. Ever-so slowly. You didn’t realize that until you were too far away to come back. And when you did, it didn’t matter that much to you. But it did to me. For I had been let down in the worst way possible. I had been let down after giving a chance to love. After believing, for the first time. Only to be proven wrong.

And that’s why it hurts.

~Nehal


Yeah, I know, it isn’t that great. But well. Also, even though this is fiction, I don’t think my dad would approve of another sad story I wrote, so shh 🤫.