Posted in Book Discussions, Bookish Stuff

How to Cleverly Respond to Non-Readers’ Stupid Questions

Q: Is that a book?
A: Well, technically it’s a lot of paper piled together and written on and decorated but yeah, you could call it a book.

Q: Doesn’t this book have a move adaptation? Why don’t you just watch that?
A: Doesn’t carbon monoxide have oxygen? Why don’t you just inhale that?

Q: That book is so long. Isn’t it boring you to death?
A: No, you are!

Q: Do you do anything but read?
A: Well, let me see. I sleep, eat, drink, play, talk, walk, jump, skip, hop and laugh. Anything else?

Q: You are literally reading, again?
A: You are literally annoying, again?

Q: Oh! Come on. Audiobooks aren’t actual books now, are they?
A: No one asked your opinion, mugggle.

Q: Don’t you get bored when you read?
A: That’s an odd question. You should ask me don’t you get bored when you don’t read.

Q: Why are you crying over the death of a fictional character? He wasn’t even real.
A: He was more real to me than you.

Q: Why don’t you ever lend people your books?
A: Because they are my best friends and you can’t just go around lending your best friends to others.

Q: Readers can be so boring, right?
A: Well, at least we don’t go around annoying people. We, unlike some, mind our own business.

Q: Are you reading a book?
A: No, I am reading your mind, trying to know what is going on inside it.